6 Game Mechanics That Made Their Games Pathetically Easy

Alright, so we have all had that moment when you finally beat a game. It’s somewhere between bitter and sweet (depending on how frustrating the game was) but the taste is usually in the same ballpark. You sigh, set down your sweat-covered controller, go make yourself a hotpocket, and say silently I’ve earned this. Then you carry on with another game (or go to your job or whatever)…. and a day or two later you tell your friend that you finally beat the game. He looks at you, you look at him, and out of the silence he says

“really dude, I beat that in a day, I just used (insert cheap game mechanic here) a whole lot”

And you stare at him.  Imagining with all your mental might his falsely-earned victory hotpocket burrowing it’s way out of him, because deep down you know that you beat the game the right way.  What poor game-making decision did your buddy spam into the ground that allowed for this disgrace? Here are a few ideas.

6. Instant Revive~Bioshock

It comes in handy sometimes

Ever since the time of early philosophers man has asked, what would man do with no accountability? Phrases like “absolute power corrupts absolutely” come to mind, but at its core, without repercussions, what motivation does someone have to give a damn about anything? None. Nada. you’re a terrible person.
Jack from Bioshock one, is a terrible person. Not as a character, and I suppose by video game character standards he may come closer to a grey area, but by person-person standards he has the greatest freedom anyone shouldn’t have, true immortality. Because just for a few funds, he can instantly be brought back to life…

Boom! Vita-Chamber! No matter what awful and terrifying fate befalls you, you can jump back into the fray with little to no consequences! The enemies you killed remain dead, but your health is maxed. so, barring extreme incompetence, anyone could beat this game with enough diligence. If you consider that beating the game.

5. Maxed out FUS RO DA!~Skyrim

Oh, Mama.

So, here it is ladies and gents, Bethesda has caught lightning in a bottle! Oblivion rocked our minds with its mind boggling number of side quests (I never spent any time on the main storyline), great graphics, a fantastic narrative, and weeks of replay-ability.
Skyrim had huge shoes to fill, and succeeded.
Better graphics, more balanced leveling, and sure, I miss the whole “hell spilling into reality” bit, but all in all the story was still (for the most part) interesting. The maps were bigger, the enemies smarter, the locations more diverse. But one thing MADE this game….
That’s right,the shouts. The Dragonborn/Epic Beardmen exclusive ability, that really set the game on a pedestal of epicness that rivals even boobies. But much like boobies, all Shouts were not created equal. While some shouts were hilariously unappealing to most, others could be used to encase your enemies in ice, incinerate the masses, and summon giant dragons. But the real ace in the hole was Fus Ro Da. The plainest of shouts that was hilariously weak at first,but hit puberty like Emma Watson by tier 3, Blossoming into you tossing Hill Giants off cliffs with nothing but the power of a Draconic Swear word. As a matter of fact, almost any humanoids in the game have a severe weakness to gravity, and Fus Ro Da is more than happy to take them out en masse, dealing massive damage to even the dragon priests.
But that would require a cliff right? Right.
Welcome to the wonderful land of Skyrim! Where mountains and cliffs are the largest impediment to travel between cities. Cliffs here, mountains there, and plenty of high places, even within dungeons. Heck, a 15 foot fall in this game seems to be the Skyrim equivalent of getting hit by an 18 wheeler.

4.The Crossbow~Dishonored

Alright, So, I have a problem, I love stealth games, sci-fi, magic, and swords. Fanatically so. But, I also admit that stealth games often fail in a lot of critical areas, camera angles, unrealistic lines of sight, and the combat controls are awful. Really awful. But with this game, it was outright survivable even in open combat! The challenge was not in beating the game…it was HOW you beat the game.
Discretion, and using non-lethal means, rewarded characters with an ever-changing world quite different from the game that the more reckless and ruthless characters will find themselves playing through. Taking out your enemies indirectly, or silently, wasn’t required for once, but was rewarded heavily.
The crossbow just handed it to you. The sleep darts, gave you the non-lethal, super-quiet kills that every assassin needs to have….from the hundred yard line. It was a virtual “Get Out Of Jail Free” card that would almost let you waltz and tango through the rat infested alleys of the industrialized city without fear of detection.
And with the fruits of your benevolence, you can upgrade its effectiveness and dart capacity to insane levels, becoming a walking hailstorm of…..nonlethality.

3. Detective Vision~Batman:Arkham series

I am not the first to say it and I wont be the last, but the detective vision in this game just got ridiculous. But between the new Hitman, Deus Ex, and even Dishonored, it seems seeing enemies through walls is the only way you can get a player through a stealth game these days without them throwing their controller through a wall.
But I’m not going to harp on about how little appreciation the genre gets these days, I’m going harp on about how Batman: Arkham Asylum/City really went all the way on making it overpowered. Because this particular usage of godlike omnipotence is so free from limitation that it almost makes that exaggeration…not an exaggeration. In Deus Ex you have to earn the ability to see through walls, not here. In Dishonored it costs magic to be able to, and you have to upgrade it several times to get half the range of our Dark Knight.

That makes both Batman and Agent 47 almost tied…except batman can see breakable objects, hiding spots, and what his enemies are carrying.Also, rather than the player having to watch the NPC’s fearfully blind fire into shadows to determine their alert state, it handily tells you that information.

2. Counter attack~Assassin’s Creed

Check that beautiful bean footage

Here is how Assassin’s creed Played for most people I know.

Step 1: learning the game

Step 2: play the storyline a bit, get the counter attack.

Step 3: Give up, Slaughter guards. hundreds of guards. At a time.

Here we go. Take your left hand, put it on your shift key,hold it there. Now take your right hand, and tap any key….now you know how easy it was to kill enemies in Assassins Creed. Yes, the later installments of the series balanced it fantastically (Ubisoft is pretty good about listening to consumer reviews), but in this first one, each time you hit the X button while blocking you were rewarded with a brief animation of you removing another human from existence. Repeat that a few times and you have painted your area with so much gore that most guards should take the hint: This guy can murder the hell out of every Npc in this game if they all attacked him at once. But they don’t, they just continue pouring in with stormtrooper-like senseless resolve.

1.Jade Golem~Jade empire

Older game, I know, but a great game. Holy crap it was awesome. If you liked Dragon Age, this game had an even more original world(Seriously, emulate that crap). This one I couldn’t resist putting on the top of the list.

So you play through the game as a martial arts prodigy bent on saving the world, but imagine mixing that with KOTOR and the tears of angels. This game is a life changer. In this game you will learn to feel for your character, and all your side character’s personalities tend to grow on you, but at the end of the game, you are faced with a choice. You can actually not fight the boss, and commit suicide right there OR

You could magically shape-shift into a golem that completely ignores the point of the entire last fight.

*Spoiler Alert*

The Final Boss (your old master) forces you to apply all your skills by becoming randomly immune to different kinds of attacks…except for one, your shape-shifting. As the unstoppable monstrosity you become you take minimal damage, but dish it out like a pro. This made the top, because even if you have the most poorly put together character possible and somehow Mr.Beaned your way to the final boss, you can beat him easily with an ability that is handed to you. It is comparable to your college professor giving you the answers to a quiz after you haven’t attended a single class, which while awesome, kinda lets you see how much faith your professor has in you.

Screw you professor

Leave a comment