The Top 10 Most Ridiculous Video Game Weapons

Video games have always had their fair share of crazy ridiculousness. It’s what makes games so intriguing. Without it, they would no longer be games. Would first person shooters be fun if on the first level you got shot in the foot and had to hobble around for the rest of the level? No. Instant healing and invincibility please! Would racing games be fun if they actually required you to understand everything there is to know about torque or aerodynamics? Of course not. Just hop in this $200,000 car and run it into that other $200,000 car at 200 mph. That’s where the fun is. Embrace the ridiculousness gamers!

Throughout my years of playing, I have found myself in control of quite a few crazy, ridiculous weapons. Here is my list of the top ten most memorable:

 

# 10: Live Ammo – Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath (Xbox)Live ammo

PETA would probably be all over this game today. I mean shooting enemies with a wildlife launching crossbow? Now that’s just inhumane. And it’s awesome. The “live ammo” includes, trash-talking Chippunks (chipmunk), stink-bombing Stunks (skunk), land-mine laying Fuzzles (fuzzle), and explosive Boombats (…bat). Why destroy your enemies with bullets and grenades when you can blow them up with a Boombat? Besides, it’s not like you’re using real animals. You’re using ridiculous animals.

 

 

# 9: Rock-It Launcher – Fallout 3 (PS3, Xbox, PC)Rock-It Launcher

The Wasteland may have been decimated by tons of nuclear weapons, but just because most of the buildings were destroyed, doesn’t mean the multitude of trash lying around the world was also. And what better way to get rid of this trash than to recycle it … as a projectile? Thus, the Rock-It Launcher, one of the crafting weapons in the game. Combine an old vacuum cleaner with a leaf blower and a fire hose nozzle and presto! You have a ridiculous pool ball, empty bottle and silverware firing masterpiece.

 

 

# 8: Infinite Rocket Launcher – Resident Evil 4 (PS2, Gamecube)Infinite Rocket Launcher

While we’re on the subject of rocket launchers, how about we focus on the infinite ammo version? Infinite ammo cheats have always been around, but when games are meant to allow the relentless onslaught of a self-reloading RPG, that’s where the fun is. Resident Evil games are generally scary. But that’s because zombies (infected) take bullets to the face like champs. Not rockets though, those hurt. What is the most ridiculous thing about the RE4 infinite rocket launcher is that rockets are considered missed shots, so you can potentially beat the entire game with 0% accuracy.

 

 

# 7: Six-Axis Arrows – Heavenly Sword (PS3)heavenly sword arrow zoom

Heavenly Sword was one of the first games that showed off the true potential of the PS3’s graphics capabilities. It also featured use of the new six-axis controller in ridiculous ways. When you played as the crazy bow and arrow girl, you had control of some pretty special arrows. When fired, the camera zoomed in on the arrow, time slowed, and you could use your controller to fly your arrow around obstacles, up into the sky, back down, left, right, whatever, right into the faces of your enemies. I don’t think arrows can really work that way. They were pretty high-tech back in their hay day, but not that high-tech.

 

 

#6: Gun…Heels – Bayonetta (PS3, Xbox 360)gun feet

I realize hack and slash games have to be unique to stand out, but having guns, on high heels? Come on, that’s just… ridiculous. How do those even work? How do you pull the trigger? How can you aim your heel? Who thought of this? This just takes foot fetish to a whole new level. Oh Bayonetta…

 

 

 

# 5: Blitzball – Final Fantasy X (PS2)

I played dodge ball in PE class when I was little. And I wasn’t the greatest; I’d get hit a lot. But it never killed me. And I couldn’t really throw the ball with enough force to make people actually need to dodge. A blitzball on the other hand, behind the arm of Wakka – deadly, accurate and not susceptible to the laws of gravity. No gamer, you can’t attack a flying enemy with a sword, you’ll miss. Instead, hit them with a rubber ball that is both on fire and frozen at the same time. That’ll do the trick.

 

 

# 4: Portal Gun/Physics – Portal (PS3, Xbox 360)portal gun

Physics in high school – bad. Physics in college – worse. Physics in a car accident – really awful. Physics in Portal – best ever. Most games take technology and think laser beams of death. Portal thought of physics. Why not make that turret that wants to kill me over there fall from this hole I shoot here out of that hole I shoot there and into this chasm of nothingness? Sounds like a plan. Ridiculously impossible, but amazing at the same time. Remember, portal guns don’t kill people, gravity kills people.

 

 

# 3: Mr. Toots – Red Faction: Armageddon (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)

I would like to high-five the guy who thought this one up. If you are unfamiliar with Mr. Toots, he is probably the funniest weapon ever created. Take a cute little unicorn, add flatulence, and you get rainbow laser beam of death. Sure it may looks like it hurts him a bit (PETA get out of here, unicorns aren’t really animals.), but it definitely hurts everything else a lot more. There is not a pot of gold at the end of this rainbow.

 

 

# 2: Lightning – Mario Kart 64 (N64)

In a game filled with all sorts of ridiculous weapons (bananas, homing shells, mushrooms that make to go really fast) this particular one stands out the most. Possibly the ultimate weapon of all time, the Mario Kart lightning has the power to make all other racers really tiny, really slow, and very susceptible to being squished. Plus, two of these shrunken racers will both get simultaneously squished if they hit each other. This is probably the best use of lightning ever in a video game, you never even stood a chance, Infamous.

 

 

# 1: Magical Knife of Instant Death – Call of Duty Multiplayer (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)knife of death

What may appear like a common battle issued combat knife, is actually the world’s most powerful weapon. It defies the old adage, “don’t bring a knife to a gunfight”; no, definitely bring one of these. A guy who is in a full combat uniform set up to defend against explosives and shrapnel and bullets can be nicked on the hand by one of these knifes and instantly die. It is that powerful. And it’s easy to wield too, anybody can do it. Even those with akimbo double-barrel shotguns (MW2) can easily kill a man at full sprint with one of these knifes. Where do the shotguns go during this knife swinging process? Who cares? I have the commando perk. Die frustrated players, die!

 

How about you? Do you have any personal favorites? Can you think of any particular ridiculous weapons I may have missed? Do you honestly believe the knives of Call of Duty are completely realistic?

31 Comments

  1. mark July 17, 2012
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    I agree about the cod knife, although you forgot the part where if someone is shooting at you in close range, you can sprint towards them and knife them while they’re shooting at you. so lame

    • Dimitrius July 17, 2012
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      very realistic i say hahah that’s why i love BF3 you actually stab the knife in them.

    • Josh July 18, 2012
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      Don’t forget MW2′s Commando to where you can knife through doorways and small spaces from 10 ft away!

  2. tyler July 17, 2012
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    What about the MIRV Launcher from Fallout 3?
    Firing eight mini-nukes at once is a bit overkill…

    • Wes Mayer July 17, 2012
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      Oh I forgot about the MIRV! It is a pretty ridiculous weapon, but I’d say that it understandably does damage. Killing mutants with a junk shooter on the other hand, made out of junk itself, I still think is more ridiculous.

      Sadly, I have never playeed any of those other games. I knew Ratchet and Clank had some crazy weapons, but since I haven’t played it, I didn’t know where to put it…

  3. natedogg July 17, 2012
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    what about the heart beat sesore on mw2/3

    • zanetti666 July 17, 2012
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      u see natedogg the heartbeat sensor is a real thing where as a knife tht kills w/o even trying isnt…

  4. zachh July 17, 2012
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    I’m tired of hearing how cod isn’t realistic, no shooter games are realistic… you think you’re just going to sprint around with heavy guns and equipment with no problems?? Rocket launchers, snipers..you wouldn’t be able to even jog while carrying on lol oh and you die and come back to life… talk about realistic..

  5. Rodgalodge July 17, 2012
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    What about the foam finger from dead space?

  6. Cam July 17, 2012
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    I got a few.

    Duke Nukem: Zero Hour – BMF Thunderstrike
    This gun fired a small ball which, on impact, released a HUGE explosion that killed non-boss enemies in a single shot. On multiplayer, it was easily the most overpowered weapon, more so than anything I’ve ever seen in a shooting game.

    Turok 2 – Cerebral Bore
    Aside from sharing the name with a death metal band, this weapon was particularly brutal. It launched a tiny device with drills at a locked-on foe (with the drill sounds in full effect) and when it connected, the object would bore through the opponent’s head for five seconds while simultaneously immobilizing the foe. In an act of extreme overkill, once the drill bit probes the foe’s brains enough, it detonates and decapitates the enemy almost in Gears-of-War style. The drill sound effect just makes the weapon that much more diabolic and nightmare-inducing.

    The first Timesplitters – Unarmed (This does count as a weapon of sorts…right?)
    In a game with dual M16′s, rocket launchers, dual tommy guns and 12 – gauge shotguns, your fist is a one-hit kill. It’s not a knife or anything, just a single right hook…that happens to instantly drop all forms of gun-toting maniacs, alive or undead. Mike Tyson would be proud.

    That’s all I could think of for the moment…

  7. Charlie Keiser July 17, 2012
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    How are none of the Ratchet and Clank guns in here?

  8. cheif keef July 17, 2012
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    so true the knive in cod needs to be taken out its too damn overpowered how can u be getting shot but yet lunge like 10 ft to knive someone for an instant death i mean cummon if u get fckin hit markers for a sniper how can one single stab to ANYWHERE be an instant kill and half the time ppl dnt even mean to use it they get scared and push the right stick in its complete bullshit only ppl who suck at life and in the game use knives point blank period!

  9. Lee July 17, 2012
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    What about the cranial saw from Turok? The laptop gun from Perfect Dark? The golden gun from Golden Eye? Out of all this, the quick-scoping in MW3 is the lamest.

  10. BevDag July 17, 2012
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    The cow gun, South Park on the Nintendo 64. It shits on everything else, hands down.

  11. Celesfaar July 17, 2012
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    Bayonetta is a witch, she doesnt need to “trigger” to shot ;)
    I absolutely agree with the knife thing of CoD, its just ridiculous.

    Dragonfable: Holy Smackerel sword
    Its a fish… you get a fish to hit monsters. Oh it adds water damage too so its not that bad.

  12. lane July 17, 2012
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    how about the pistol from halo CE. three shots from anywhere will kill you.

    • coppertop777 July 18, 2012
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      not to mention its sniper capabilities from across the map

  13. Lol July 17, 2012
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    The penetrator- saints row 3

  14. Tim July 17, 2012
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    What about grand theft auto? Pull a rocket launcher, m16, ak-47 and other guns magically with 20 guns in your inventory and you can’t see any of them… Unrealistic

  15. john July 17, 2012
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    Any weapon from ratchet and clank

  16. Hydrexo PS3 July 17, 2012
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    The knife in COD is so gay. Sometimes the guy can even kill you without him directly hitting you and you can see in the kill cam. -_-’

  17. nick July 17, 2012
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    There’s a reason that battlefield is more realistic, their knives are not allways one hit kill unless you do a critical hit, or sneak up behind them. If your knife is one hit kill, you got them right in the chest or neck. Much more realistic.

  18. The Awesome Boss July 18, 2012
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    Lmfao, gotta hate the CoD panic knife, also, WHERE IS THE THUNDERGUN ?!?!?!? OR THE SCAVENGER FROM CALL OF THE DEAD ?!?!?

  19. Gaby July 18, 2012
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    Call Of Duty sucks entirely, BF3 is much better in all ways. In COD, you run around and just shoot people and get pissed and get yelled at by twelve-year-old children getting pissed at you. In BF3, you can drive humvees, tanks, helicopters and jets. You can also blow buildings out of their foundations and kill the people in them. In COD, you can break glass.

  20. Hagan July 18, 2012
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    Where’s the wunder waffle?

  21. coppertop777 July 18, 2012
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    how about the dildo launcher you get from pre-ordering saints row the third it always seems like the article links i get from likeing cod on facebook are written by people who either never play games or only play a particular game or series and dont venture from it or even pay attention to other games yet feel the need to write about them i mean who would not at least include a weapon from ratchet and clank i have never played these games but i know they have ridiculous weapons like turn your enemy to sheep and shit and as for mario kart i think maybe the banana is prob what should be on this list and def the dildo launcher and as for the cod knife its not accurate no but if you stab someone in the neck head heart or slice just above the waist line and watch their intestine fall out thats a wrap they are dead so its not that ridiculous just overpowered

    • Wes Mayer July 18, 2012
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      Coppertop… that is probably the best run-on sentence I have ever read, haha. You win the prize for best comment!

      • coppertop777 July 19, 2012
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        yeah its a run on sentence no one punctuates in these things and im sure that best comment thing is an insult of sorts but seriously what games have you played in the last 5 years there was another article calling for the most treasured nintendo games to retire never to be seen again and that one i know you didnt write but combined with yours has me wonder if yall actually play games anymore at all and come on at least admit the dildo launcher should be in here that you were unaware or forgot about it i laughed my ass off when i saw it and i have never laughed at any other weapon before nor did i have to go online to prove it existed to friends for any other weapon ooh an i got all As in english in college im hust being lazy so suck it

  22. jake July 18, 2012
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    how about the throwing knife too from cod and today i went back and played mw2 and didnt get 1 one shot kill with the barrett 50 cal that leaves holes the size of baseball sin peoples bodys

  23. JohnnyB July 20, 2012
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    I don’t remember the game, but in one, there is a weapon called “The Disintegrator Ray” One shot and poof, you’re a pile of dust.

  24. AresIncarnate July 21, 2012
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    None of you guys added the stuff from Worms? I played lots of worms: Armageddon in the day and I’d have to say the exploding old ladies, super sheep, mole bombs, are worthy of mention.

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